101 Screts For Your Twenties: Breakup

On the previous blog post, I clustered the secrets related to dating and marriage but I left aside the ones about breakup.

Paul wrote

Every breakup has two breakups. (…) you’ll have the first tearful “It’s over” sitting in front seat of your Honda or on a park swing. then 1-2 months later after there’s “been talk”, you’ll have the “real breakup” because [he/]she forgets to call like [he/]she used to (…) And gird those loins because in the second breakup there will be a lot more breaking.

And if you are dummy, you will have a third, forth or maybe fifth breakup. That’s why Paul’s next secret is very important:

After the official “second” breakup, when it’s really over, comes the heavy lifting of really really breaking up. You’ve broken up with the person, but now you have to start cutting all the strings that are attached and intertwined.

Luckly, technology can be your best friend. Unfriend your ex on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram/… Block your ex on WhatsApp/Telegram/Signal/… Remove your ex’s contact from your agenda. Also remove previous messsages. And tell everyone that is over. This is important because breaking up need to be like a fire, it need “to burn through the dead weeds in your life [so that] the plants that will grow back will reap tons of sweet fruit.”

Paul concluded saying

there will come that morning when you’ll wake up, and it will be over. This time for real for real. And the funny thing is you won’t even notice. Because the moment the breakup is really over is the moment you stop wondering when is this ever going to end.

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